Best of Athens, 2.0.12, Volume 1: FOOD

We all know that Best of Athens is the equivalent of voting for senior prom court.  There are a king and a queen, prince and princess, dukes and duchesses galore, but, unlike every high school rom-com of the early 2000s, the lesser known freaks and geeks aren’t thrust into the limelight and given their much deserved attention.   So, this year, after once again disagreeing with the majority of the award recipients, I’ve decided to issue my own version of Best of Athens, version 2.0.12.  Without further ado, let us begin.

Disclaimer: These recipients were chosen solely by me.  That is to say, the process by which I’ve decided to award is completely biased and egocentric.   No one else has voted, nor contributed in any way (e.g. I have not received “donations”, and I do not require an advertising minimum to be met before nominating). That being said, I hope it is realized that a major vote did not take place because it seems that the most recent vote, for whatever reason, missed the mark.

Best Pizza – Abrio’s

Although Avalanche Pizza had been voted best pizza since the dawn of time, I disagree.  They have a terrific menu and their use of many local products is fantastic, I’ll not contest either of those facts.  However, I was recently taken by Abrio’s (on East State St.) and WOW, they have some seriously tasty za!  I also sampled their bruschetta (cheesy bread’s classier Italian cousin), and was able to take in the atmosphere of the restaurant; with a well-stocked, Art Deco-inspired bar, and an open kitchen, one can enjoy pizza and a drink while watching the kitchen staff make pizza!  Avalanche may have a larger selection and capable drivers, but Abrio’s offers a much needed step up from delivery dining. 

Best Burger—Leghorns

Nestled next to Taco Bell on East State St., Leghorns may look like just another chain restaurant and in many ways that assumption is correct.  From the kitschy wall hangings, to the identically uniformed staff, Leghorns definitely gives off the feeling that every server should be wearing pieces of flair—But their burgers and fries hit the spot when you are craving a giant, messy hunk of beef with all the traditional (or nontraditional, if you are so inclined) trappings and fixings, and bacon-and-cheese smothered potato bits.

Best Sub—Valero on Columbus Road

I kid you not, tucked away in this gas station is the best submarine sandwich/delicatessen in Athens.  If you are looking for a real sub (i.e. freshly cut meat, cheeses, and veggies that all taste like separate accoutrement, unlike those bland, “this could be grain, dairy, or meat, I’m not sure” subs a la Subway), take a five minute drive away from town.  Gas, being so expensive these days, will unfortunately be used in getting there, but a 10-inch sub (that has flavor!) is only six dollars!  Plus, there is the added convenience of being able to top off your tank while you wait on your food.

Best Burrito— …

I adore burritos, but there isn’t a winner for best, because, well, Athens burrito joints are all on an even level of Ewww.  Take Big Mama’s; aside from scowling employees, questionable service, dingy conditions of prep tables and back room, the overwhelming “we could not possibly care less” attitude, and the fact that ten of the same type of burrito made will be vary greatly in both general size and amounts of ingredients used, Mama’s is delicious and a real drunken crowd-pleaser at 2:45am, a time at which any food tastes like magic.  Next, the Burrito Buggy; another drunken crowd-pleaser, whose working conditions are ahead of Mama’s (which is pretty stellar, considering it’s a 8x10 foot aluminum box on wheels), but whose product is only attractive, again, after ingesting copious amounts of alcohol and after one realizes that all of the “real” food options closed their doors hours before.  Chipotle… Chipotle is the McDonald's of Mexican food, and it will likely treat your tummy just as eating three pounds of McDonald's Dollar Menu Food would (read: bellyache and lower digestive tract issues roughly an hour later). 

Best Bar Food (amended “Best restaurant/bar” category)—The Pub

Read:  This category has been amended to included bars that serve food but do not have a traditional dining room area. 

The Pub is a fantastic place to grab a bite in between classes, although it admittedly does get a little packed on given evenings.  Casa Nueva/Cantina takes the cake in this category yearly, but it is this foodie’s belief that although Casa caters to the Locavore [a term for people who only eat local food] and Herbivore, there isn’t any bar food on the menu!  You know what I mean—homemade beer cheese soup, juicy burgers cooked to your taste specifications, fried mushrooms and pickles, onion rings, french fries, oh my!  The Pub offers all of these items, and unlike Casa, the price of a good meal won’t break your wallet.  And, let’s face it, there are few things more satisfying than filling up on a good eats and still being able to afford post-meal drinks!

Best Hot Dog—The ones you get from the grocery store and top yourself

I understand the thrill of having someone else concoct a magnificent hot dog creation for you, and I have frequented O’Betty’s Red Hot! as well as Larry’s Dawg House numerous times over the years.  Let’s be honest here, though: even all-beef hot dogs are of questionable nature—we love them so much, because we take special care to not dwell too long on what, exactly, we are ingesting.  No judgment here, I love (and even occasionally crave) hot dogs too!  I simply don’t think many people realize that making your own hot dogs takes the same amount of time and it allows you to be just as creative with topping ingredients.  Sure, it lacks the obvious quirk of our local dog shacks, but if you stock up on ingredients beforehand, you’ll save money and probably come up with some outstanding creations of your own!

Best: Wings, Breakfast, & Fine Dining

…Are the three categories that I can’t, in good faith, comment upon.  One, I don’t particularly like chicken wings.  Two, I believe (like #6) the best breakfasts are ones you cook yourself (or, if you are lucky enough, you have someone that will wake up early to cook for you).  Three, I’m one of those workaholic individuals that holds down two jobs, yet rarely has the spending money to drop on “fine dining” in Athens… So, I’ve yet to expand my pallet in that direction and thus have no adequate opinions to contribute.

Best Beer—Beer. 

Best beer?  While Jackie O’s is the “obvious” choice, it bothers me that the original Best of Athens category seems, um, really biased to begin with.  As if Jackie O’s needs the added recognition of winning an award in a category with only one other bar really contending? Come on.  Best beer of Athens, now apparently includes brands manufactured out of state? There is no way to accurately answer this “best beer” question, by poll or otherwise.  

Best Uniquely Athens Restaurant—…

Can we, quickly, address the grammatical bastardization of the word ‘unique’? By slapping on the ‘ly’ suffix, it becomes difficult to determine whether this award is going to the restaurant that is most unique to Athens (as in, there isn’t another place like it in the whole world, it is specific to Athens) or whether this award is going to the restaurant that is most unique in Athens (as in, there isn’t another place like it in all of Athens)…

So, Casa Nueva has been named the winner of this category… This makes it seem like the majority of Athenians are hippy vegetarian artist musicians.  And, as true as that may very well be, I must disagree with this award winner. Regardless of their use of the worker-owned-and-operated system and their abundant use of local products, I don’t believe that Athens as a whole is best represented by Casa, nor is it “uniquely Athens”, as there are many bar/restaurants throughout the world that are worker-owned and operated and decorated with promising local artists’ work.  I believe, instead, this category should be amended to “Best Athenian Place to Eat”, because this would allow for the inclusion of many more unique local eat spots that aren’t technically considered restaurants.

Best Vegetarian Cuisine—Purple Chopstix

I’m assuming so many people voted for Casa because they have page after page of vegetarian options? Am I right?  Well, coming from someone that went on a strict (no meat, chicken, or fish) 13 month vegetarian bender, Casa’s cuisine (though plentiful in terms of portions and options) was lack-luster and each dish seemed to consist of the same bland flavors and muted colors. Purple Chopstix (located on Richland Ave.) offers a number of vegetarian (as well as a few vegan) dishes, whose flavors are robust and presentation is colorful and appetizing… Yet it rarely gets mentioned as a destination dinner spot.

Best Ethnic Restaurant—Restaurant Salaam

Finally, a winner I fully support!  I love Restaurant Salaam because of the extraordinary atmosphere created as soon as you walk through the doors—from the live potted plants scattered around dining room, to the Persian carpets, to the belly dancers on Saturday nights, to the incredibly diverse menu (traditionally-inspired dishes of the Mediterranean, Northern Africa, the Middle East, Pakistan, India, and Thailand varieties) Restaurant Salaam absolutely deserves this award!