Okay, so I’m not actually charging 5¢ per tidbit, considering my advice is wholly unsolicited, not vetted by the post grad community at large, and I lack an active PayPal account. However, I have come to several stunning realizations that I feel may benefit the bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, undergrad youth of today. On a side note, this advice is something I’m still trying to apply to my own life; in fact, I still struggle with most of these issues. I am simply using this opportunity to share a couple things I wish I would have taken to heart sooner.
1. Man up. Go to class.
Sounds lame, right? Well, here’s the deal; if you’re ditching class on a regular basis for reasons that can’t be appropriately documented and accepted by the average professor as a “University approved” excuse, your chances of earning a decent grade fall dramatically, simply based upon your poor attendance record. Although I was always considered a “crammer” when it came to studying, it is so much easier to look over familiar notes and earn excellent exam grades when you already have a grasp on the material. Yes, sitting through lecture rarely feels worthwhile at the time—until you realize that the vast majority of term papers can be written—and exam study guides can be filled out accordingly—by simply utilizing the notes taken during class time. That all being said, a couple (read: TWO) “mental health days” are a necessity during a quarter, because everybody deserves a break from the drag of academia, but don’t go day-off crazy; profs don’t take kindly to students that complain about strict grading policies while only attending class once a week.
2. Maintain a sufficient (and sustainable) level of sanity.
This is tough, particularly when making a desperate attempt to balance a social life with classes, obligations with spontaneity, and hanging out with homework. It isn’t any wonder that most students that find themselves over-imbibing in at least one (if not all) of these facets of college life, consequently find themselves exhausted, stressed, and bordering on a nervous breakdown by the time mid-terms roll around. The trick is to always keep in mind that tomorrow is another day—whether you failed an important exam or decided to party all night, tomorrow will inevitably occur, and the only control you have in the matter is whether you decide to focus on the positive or the negative before tomorrow arrives. You can decide to meet with your professor tomorrow to discuss ways to increase your grade or you can choose to wallow in self-pity the entire day. You can choose to be responsible by attending class, hung-over, or you can skip class… to wallow in self-pity the entire day. See? Tomorrow is going to show up, whether you’re ready for it or not. The only thing that you can do is make choices today that will make for the best tomorrow. And when you slip up (which we all inevitably will), take responsibility for your actions, and rise above yesterday.
3. Stop frittering your money away.
You do not need that $40 pair of heels. Nor do you need those extra cases of Natty Light. You don’t need new room decorations, feather hair extensions, an extravagant Donkey coffee drink every morning, or the most recent, must-have, super hip video game. You should not pick up your buddy’s tab more often than they pick up yours (equal reciprocation must be discernibly decided upon). You should not let your roommates eat your food without requiring them to replace it. You should not buy fast food more than a couple times a month. Unless you are one of those highly privileged individuals whose parents pay for everything while supplying you with an additional “allowance”, you should watch what you spend your money on. I’m not suggesting that you suddenly adhere to a strict, frugal budget, because I realize doing so cripples one’s social life… Instead, for one week, make a note of everything that you purchase; from vending machine snacks between classes, to a new notebook from CVS, to larger purchases (like extra textbooks), or unforeseen needs (like a replacement hard drive for your laptop), comprise a list of every penny spent, and upon review, I’ll bet that you will feel differently about your current spending habits. To be more succinct, my advice is not for you to completely stop spending money… That would be unrealistic. Rather, I recommend that you train yourself to be more mindful of your spending; take longer than 2.5 seconds when deciding whether or not to make a purchase, hold off on extravagant purchases—if you still want it as badly next week, then consider buying it. In sum, my money advice can be narrowed down to: be generous but not a pushover when it comes to picking up tabs and lending out cash, give yourself at least 24 hours to contemplate before purchasing “big ticket items”, and collect all debts owed to you regardless of how guilty it may make you feel.
4. Consider the repercussions of your actions... And try to do this beforehand, instead of after the fact.
Calling out your professor during lecture, for something that should be discussed privately. Sabotaging someone because you feel that they “deserve it”. These are just a couple examples of situations that demand a certain level of grace when addressing and dealing with them. When feeling disappointed or betrayed, we instinctively search out ways to make ourselves feel better, and more often than not, we turn to revenge to compensate. Whether it is the professor that is “out to get us” or the friend that “deserves” what’s coming to them, we take it upon ourselves to dole out our own unique brands of justice. What we realize, down the line, is that revenge serves to do nothing more than perpetuate the cycle of anger. That professor surely does not take kindly to your attempt to disrupt and embarrass, and will be well within his or her rights to pass further judgment upon you, given your obvious lack of respect. That friend, the one that “deserves” the fell swoop of your swift and righteous wrath, may indeed deserve every ounce, but no matter how adamantly you try to justify it, in the end, it isn’t your place to dish out revenge. And, coming from someone with a number of regrets pertaining to adolescent revenge plots gone wrong, it is so much more satisfying to let karma take its course, without personal involvement. Trust me.
5. Show Momma a little gratitude instead.
Losing your temper with your mom because she has been calling you an awful lot lately is something we’ve probably all done, regrettably. I’ve witnessed my college friends get unbearably frustrated with moms that call every day, sometimes multiple times per day. When dealing with a packed academic schedule, it is easy to feel exasperated by someone that calls to simply “chat”. Heed my words, though: Respect your mother. Don’t pitch a fit. Don’t berate her for the attention she so readily devotes to you. Don’t lecture her on how busy you are, now that you are at college… She knows, and that’s why she is calling—because you are at college and you are so busy, she assumes that if she didn’t call, she would never hear from you. Moms miss us when we leave the nest, and to compensate, they call. ALL THE TIME. Instead of feeling annoyed or bothered, you should be flattered that your mother didn’t immediately forsake you as soon as you moved away for school. She loves you, she worries about you, and most of all, she just wants to hear about your day—your successes and your failures, your awesome class presentation and your hellacious 8 hour work shift, moms want to hear about all of it. Next time you get irritated with your mom’s frequent calls, take a moment to reflect that 1. You actually have a living mother, 2. She misses and loves you like crazy, and 3. She gave birth to you… Enough said.
